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Reward if found

There has been a feeling creeping in on me for a few weeks now. It has been coming closer and closer. Until this morning I didn’t have the exact word for the feeling.

I feel lost.

Not in a “Where did my GPS lead me this time” way. (Mine has a sexy Australian voice. I tend to just listen to him talk, not actually pay attention to where he is leading me…but I digress)

In a “where is Allison” kind of way.

I have spent so much time over the last 19 years being what I thought everyone else wanted and needed me to be that I have lost sight of what I want to be. Of who I am.

A mom? Well yes, I am a mom. I enjoy being a mother most of the time. But that is part of who I am, not who I am.

A wife? Well yes, I am a wife. I have a wonderful husband who is my partner in most every sense of the word. But that is part of who I am, not who I am.

A daughter? Well yes, I am a daughter. I have parents, step parents, in-law parents. I am certainly a daughter to many. But that is part of who I am, not who I am.

A sister? Cook? Housekeeper? Friend? Blogger? Tweet-a-holic? Teacher? Unemployed? Tired? Lupus patient? Failed gardener? Reader?

I have lost me. If asked to define who I am, I would only have a blank stare to offer as my answer.

If you find me, please leave a comment. Possible reward.

{ 3 comments… add one }
  • pandamanda9 June 11, 2011, 9:44 pm

    I think all of those are you and more! You are a caring person who tries her best to be normal as possible in a crazy world with difficult relationships and difficult days. Each thing is a part of you to make up, well, you!

  • Brooke June 12, 2011, 8:26 am

    OMG!! That so fits how I feel right now! Coffee is a MUST very soon!!! I love you!!! You are an amazing person. You are all those things and more!! Every piece must be in the puzzle for the “full picture.” Sometimes it’s finding those small odd shaped pieces that are OUR pieces and no one else’s that completes the puzzle. I think I’ve lost several of those pieces along the way. Why can’t those ones be the corner pieces they are always much easier to find! 😉 love ya lady! Thank for sharing….good to know we are rowing this boat together! <3

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