Todays post was also originally on my other blog, but I felt it was a humorous balance to yesterdays post. (…and to those who know the UNP, please keep in mind that she does not read my blog and I do need an outlet. So please don’t read this to her….m”kay????)
Most of you know that Faith has food allergies. She has, at the high point, been allergic to: Peanuts, Egg, Wheat, Dairy, Soy, Corn, Oat, Rice, Sunflower, Tomato, Almond, Walnut, Pecan, Hazelnut and honestly I don’t remember what else. That has been our life for the last 8 years. Food + Faith = severe allergic reaction. She has even had to have a Gastrostomy (G-tube) that we have used to feed her an amino acid based allergen-free medical liquid food.
Things have taken a good turn for us lately. Many, but not all, children outgrow some of their allergies. A lucky few even outgrow them all. Faith has outgrown some. Enough that we can feed her again! The ones that we have back are wheat, dairy, oat, rice, corn and tomato. Whoo-hoo!
Anyway on to the story…..
There is a person who shall remain nameless, henceforth known as UNP (Un Named Person) who at times has a bit of trouble understanding Faith’s allergies. Okay, she has A LOT of trouble “getting it”.
The last time she was here for a visit I gave her the great news that Faith could now eat wheat and dairy. This conversation that followed:
UNP: So I can bake her my special cake!
Me: Ummm, no. It still has other things that she is allergic to in it
UNP: What is she allergic to that is in it?
Me: Well, eggs to start with.
UNP: But you said she got back dairy and flour?
Me: Yes, she can have dairy and wheat now.
UNP: So I can bake her my cake!
Me: Nope, not yet.
UNP: But you just said she could have dairy and wheat.
Me: Yes, but not eggs.
UNP: But why?
(At this point I’m feeling very confused…..)
Me: ….because she is allergic to eggs….
UNP: But you keep saying she can eat diary!
Me: Yes, but not eggs….
UNP: Why can’t she have the eggs?
Me: Because she is allergic to them.
(AArrrgghhhhh!)
UNP: But what is she allergic to?
Me: Eggs!!
UNP: But what is in the eggs that she is allergic to?
Me: The egg???
UNP: What is IN the egg that she can’t have?
Me: The EGG!
UNP: But she got back dairy?
Me: Wheat and dairy, but not eggs!
UNP: But eggs are dairy.
(slightly stunned silence…)
Me: Ummm, no, they are eggs.
UNP: But they come from a farm, so they are dairy!
Me: No, just because they come from a farm doesn’t make them dairy, they are eggs.
UNP: Oh, so what are in eggs anyway?
Me: Uh, eggs?
UNP: But what is in them that she is allergic to????
Me: (heavy sigh) Baby chickens…..
Hahaaha don’t you just *love* circling convos like that. Just one major *facepalm* moment. It’s like you have to see it in a humorous way. And keep a list visible at all times of what Faith can eat.
I’m sure that was terribly painful~>but super funny, so thanks 4 sharing!! Wait, so now u’re saying she’s allergic 2 poultry..?
Thankfully she’s only allergic to baby chickens and not full grown ones. 😉
In my speech bubble*: Have you ever seen a cow lay an egg?? Or try to milk a chicken??
*Speech bubbles are a proven POFAK method of dealing with UNPs. You imagine cartoon speech bubbles around the person’s head, filled with the things you really want to say but are too polite to actually utter. 😉